What Happens When I Get To 'Five?'

…Or three – what ever the number is that you have established when you are expecting a child to follow a direction. It is important that they know what number they are expected to respond by. Initially when setting up a routine like counting to aid them in making a decision to follow a direction or not, it would be nice to start it off by saying something along the lines of, ‘I’m going to count to five and you need to follow my direction by the time I get there.’

By the time I get to five, not after. It’s a very simple practice to start. ‘One…Two…Three…Four…Five.’ If they have responded by the time you reached five, you simply praise the child. ‘Thank you for following my direction.’ There should be a nice pause between the counting, but not too long. Also it is not fair to rush through the counting, ‘onetwothreefourfive.’ What would be the point of counting then. The goal here is to help them to rethink their choices. Helping them to learn that, ‘I have been given a direction and I need to follow that direction within a reasonable amount of time.’

If the child has not followed the direction by the time you reach five, it is important to follow through with the consequence. Sometimes the consequence is just a time out – and sometimes you have already said what it will be and you need to follow through. I will discuss consequences in another entry, but the important thing to remember is to follow through. ‘If you do not start picking up the room by the time I count to five, you are going to take a time out.’ I will also be discussing time outs in another entry. But remember to follow through. Follow through, follow through, follow through.

I can’t say it enough – when you have given a direction and then given them a time limit (like counting), you must also follow through with either praise for following direction or the consequence for not. If you do not, what did they learn from your counting but to also count to five. We all know how cute that is – when the child jumps in and starts counting with you. But laughing at it every time, probably will not be helpful in the long run, unless you are just doing it to teach them to count.