RESPECT

Remember, I am not a parent, I am not with the children I work with for hours upon hours a day, but I do know how easy it is to be pulled into an argument, feel the need to explain yourself and just plan want to be fair. I think some of our children’s arguing comes from that double-edged sword of what we have learned as we become parents, learn from our parents and other family and friends. We teach our children to be strong, assertive and stand up for us and haven’t figured out the magic formula to teach them to ‘stand up for yourself’ except with me, with me you follow my directions.

How many of us have comment, ‘if I would have talked to my dad or mom like that, I might not have been able to talk for a week.’ Some of us, unfortunately, meant that literally but others of us meant it more along the lines of being respectful and knowing how to talk with an adult. My parents raised us to say ‘yes, ma’am, yes sir’ and while they didn’t always enforce those exact words we were taught who was in charge and when they made a decision, it stood.

How did it become acceptable for children to argue so much with their parents? To have the parents bribe children for behaving in public? Although that one I believe has always been there in one form or another – not with all of us but with some of us. Who doesn’t want to show the world that they have learned to be the ‘near’ perfect parent and their children are completely respectful with them, and someone to be shown off.

Well, you and I know, it’s not okay. There is something missing in the respect factor and it is time we re-gain a little control. Teach your children to say, ‘yes, sir,’ ‘no, ma’am’. Challenge how they are talking to other adults, if you do not agree with what the teacher is saying or doing with your child, challenge them when the child is not present. A child comes home and ‘tells’ on the teacher – remind them, they are the adult and you need to do what they say. Obviously, we teach them ‘good touch and bad touch,’ but are we teaching them that these are about the only time they should be allowed to challenge and argue with an adult. There are exceptions and I really hope you don’t get stuck on those when you read this, focus on the basic concept of respect. Pretend they are not your children for a minute and listen to how they are talking to adults? Is it acceptable and if not, how are you going to change it?